Grief - Chinese style

I have missed my good friend Sky here the last couple of weeks. He is in good health, but that is not why he has been hard to find. Last year on or about July 6, Sky married a wonderful young woman named Jenny. She teaches English on the same school campus, but she is affiliated with the Chinese school, while Sky and I teach at the international one. Two weeks ago, Jenny's father was diagnosed with lung cancer. He is a young 53, and teaches Physics at a Chinese high school. He doesn't speak any English but has never failed to greet me with a big smile on the few occasions I've seen him. Like the majority of Chinese men, he smokes. And Sky, who doesn't smoke, was always grumbling about having to buy him expensive cigarettes on holidays and family occasions. It's a tradition for the son-in-laws... It has to do with respect and a means of demonstrating success - he can then offer his friends to smoke some fine tobacco with him, provided by his son-in-law.
And now it is stage 2/3 lung cancer - not having spread outside the lungs as far as I can gather. He was going to have an operation last week to remove the tumor but the doctors decided it was not advisable - the tumor has grown too large to operate on. So now he has started chemotherapy, as of today, in the hopes that it may shrink the tumor enough to allow an operation. The Chinese do not have a lot of faith in their medical system, and Sky has asked me to investigate treatment in the US. I have made a couple calls to OHSU, and come to the conclusion that getting his father-in-law over there will be a tough task and extremely expensive. Before the doctors can advise anything, they need all his records. Of course! Except they are all in Chinese... I have advised Sky of these things and he will look into it, but I think the chances of going to the US will be very slim.
But that is not what I'm really writing about this for. You see, when Sky first told me that his father-in-law had lung cancer, he told me that Jenny didn't know yet and he was going to wait a couple days before telling her. He was worried how she would take it (she is an only daughter). I thought "wow" he's not going to tell his father-in-law's daughter. But that's not the real kicker. You see, over here in China, the doctors don't even tell the patient. Sky's father-in-law didn't even know. They are afraid that telling the patient news like that will make them even sicker. So they only tell the family (in this case, the mother-in-law and Sky) and let them handle all the grief. The family tries to withhold the news from the patient as long as possible. In some cases, the sick family member may die never knowing the cause... In this case, because of the treatment needed, he had to be told. Sky said that when he finally told him, he thought he already knew. Jenny has been a basket case. Family members take on all the grief and worrying, and it is considered bad form to smile or laugh or have a good time while a family member is seriously ill. So now Sky comes in to school, teaches his classes, and immediately leaves. He has temporarily given up all his other duties. He does not even smile, and I almost felt guilty for trying to get him to crack a smile the last time I saw him. He used to text me all the time and I haven't received any from him other than a response to a question I ask him.
I guess I kind of understand their reasoning behind it all (lots of superstition - and the Chinese are nothing if not superstitious). But it is so depressing, and doesn't really seem to help anybody (from my perspective). I miss the Sky that I have grown to know, and I will only be here in Xi'an a little over a month, and it saddens me that I may never see that Sky again before I leave...
Sky is being the best son-in-law that he knows how to be, and I hope that his father-in-law will have many good years ahead of him in which to enjoy his life...